Life was tampered down when I was with my ex-husband.
From the food I ate,
the drinks I chose,
the movies I watched,
the leaps of faith I took,
the exercise routines I chose,
the people I spent time with….
So much of what I wanted deep down was either criticized or not allowed. And in the name of “marriage” I thought what I was doing was simply compromising.
But compromising doesn’t mean you lose yourself and your soul. It doesn’t mean you strip away the desires and passions you carry so that you can stand there, stripped down, with nothing left for yourself only to turn around and shakily hold up the passions of your partner.
In the end, people will judge you anyway, so don’t live your life impressing others-live your life impressing yourself.
Eunice Camacho Infante
In the nearly three years it has been since I left that relationship, I’ve had moments where I am utterly astonished by the life I’m getting to live. I carry with me so much love and passion and the freedom to do what I want. And yet, I still have enough strength to turn around and support the people around me. I didn’t realize how stifled my love was until I left.
Carrying out those passions have made me even stronger. They’ve built me up, and in doing so, I’ve been able to turn to my friends and family and offer my love and support along the way.
Support and encouragement breathe life into our bodies. We deserve that from the people around us, but especially from our partners.
But abusive relationships send you into a spiral. They cause you to lose sight of those passions and reduce you to state of survival, sometimes without even knowing it. You’re constantly tiptoeing on eggshells and you don’t have the permission or quiet time in your life to dive into your passions. It’s constantly chaotic.
I like to think of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs in this situation. It’s incredibly hard to pursue things for pleasure until your basic needs are met. Your basic needs consist of safety, food….
And guess what: one of those basic needs is love and affection in your relationships.
The last relationship I will ever have in my life will be one where we help lift up each other’s passions. We will give each other strength as we support one another. We will pursue our wildest dreams and be each other’s best cheerleaders.
We will never stop caring for each other’s dreams.
We will never stop seeing each other for exactly who we are.
That’s what my last relationship will be.