The trip I just arrived home from still has me spinning with joy. But it’s not the fluttering, jittery joy. It’s a deeply peaceful one. A joy that feels like it’s anchoring me to the ground, allowing me to feel my toes in the sand and wrap my arms around my boys.
We’re not lost.
We’re not wandering.
We’re right here together. Exactly where we’re supposed to be.
How it happened
Let me start by saying this trip wouldn’t have been possible without my aunt. And that’s not just a shoutout to her, but a clue to you as to why this trip happened financially. We had a free place to stay for our trip, and that made all the difference. For that, I am so so grateful.
I hadn’t seen this aunt in over 20 years. But we had become closer over the past year as I learned about her non-profit, The Whole Horse Place, where she rescues elderly horses, many who would be sent to slaughter or couldn’t find homes willing to care for them in their old age.
I had known for years that I wanted to bring my boys to meet her horses, Why was I still waiting? Enough waiting around until it’s the perfect time. I’ve learned far too many times that we don’t know what’s around the corner for us or our families, so earlier this year, I said screw it and booked the plane tickets to go.
Horses as Healing
There are five shelves in my aunt’s barn filled with every size cowboy boot, from a toddler size 11 to an adult size 11. Looking at that picture makes me tear up because it represents the love and acceptance that The Whole Horse Place exudes. My aunt had told me many times about the powerful healing of horses, but I had no idea what that felt like until I arrived and felt it for myself.
Our first full day there, we decided to gear up to ride horses. My little guy has always been cautious, so I really didn’t know how he was going to react to getting onto a horse and riding in through the woods. I had even talked to my aunt about riding with him, but she assured me he would be okay and that someone would guide his horse the whole way. I trusted her, but I wasn’t sure my little guy would.
We were busy getting our boots and helmets on when I had to run to the barn for one more thing. When I came back, I saw both of my kids sitting on their horses (with the adults nearby of course) smiling widely. When I asked my youngest how he felt, he said, “Good!” with a huge grin on his face.
I froze for a moment in my tracks, taking in the site of my brave kiddo. The one who would not TOUCH a splash pad until he was 4. The one who CLUNG to us around water until he was 4. The kid who was cautious around big noisy places for a long time.
This kid had just happily climbed up onto a horse, and now he was smiling at me, relaxed and ready for his ride.
We walked through the trails behind my aunt’s home and all I kept glimpsing was the smile on his face. Every once in a while he would spin his head around and give me a huge smile, completely unprompted.
I’ve never seen him feel that level of calm and peace. Ever.
I watched my boys riding their horses ahead of me, filled with confidence and they sat atop these thousand-pound creatures, and I starting crying. I felt a little ridiculous at first. How sappy could I be? Was I really crying while riding a horse already? But this was what my aunt meant about the power of horses. It was true. Those horses connected with a part of my boys’ souls and pulled them to the surface for all of us to see. They saw a part of my boys that I hadn’t seen yet, grabbed it, and brought it out to see the sunshine, and riding through those woods, I felt so deeply grateful to have seen it now too.